and all through the house.
No one was stirring
except for Mom.
I have been feeling so overwhelmed with exhaustion lately.
I know that I've been running on Adrenaline for the last few months and it's finally caught up to me.
So, I apologize for all of the unreturned phone calls, the extreme neglect that I've shown my friends and the constant "narcoleptic" behavior that has happened for the last 2 weeks and is likely to continue for a tiny, little bit. Maybe this next week will be a little better. Naptime is a wonderful time of the day for me.
I love you, I'll be back someday... soon.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Thursday, November 25, 2010
AGAIN?!?
Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm grateful for modern medicine. Very grateful.
Because we're back!
Yes, we are in the hospital, again.
About a week ago, I noticed that Olivia wasn't her usual jolly, cute self. She has another UTI.
What she has is pseudomonas aeruginosa. I think it sounds like a really cool Harry Potter spell.
Sadly, it's not. It's a pretty vicious bacteria that's pretty hard to kill.
Even as I write this, she's having a PICC put in. She's got another 9 days of IV antibiotics ahead of her. So, they are going to send her home with a home health nurse coming in every 12 hours to do more antibiotics. I would rather they do a PICC line than have 5 IV sticks in her future. She's an IV blower. IVs are hard to do on her.
I also have a cold. Aaron got one from Hayden and decided to share with me. I still love them.
Chaos abounds at home where we are still trying to unpack boxes and settle into our new abode. I love the house and all those who reside within.
I'm thankful to and grateful for all those who've helped us so far in our jouney.
Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm grateful for modern medicine. Very grateful.
Because we're back!
Yes, we are in the hospital, again.
About a week ago, I noticed that Olivia wasn't her usual jolly, cute self. She has another UTI.
What she has is pseudomonas aeruginosa. I think it sounds like a really cool Harry Potter spell.
Sadly, it's not. It's a pretty vicious bacteria that's pretty hard to kill.
Even as I write this, she's having a PICC put in. She's got another 9 days of IV antibiotics ahead of her. So, they are going to send her home with a home health nurse coming in every 12 hours to do more antibiotics. I would rather they do a PICC line than have 5 IV sticks in her future. She's an IV blower. IVs are hard to do on her.
I also have a cold. Aaron got one from Hayden and decided to share with me. I still love them.
Chaos abounds at home where we are still trying to unpack boxes and settle into our new abode. I love the house and all those who reside within.
I'm thankful to and grateful for all those who've helped us so far in our jouney.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
WAYYYYY Behind.
I'm so far behind in posting that I'll never catch up, but I'll do little summary of all that has happened.
We MOVED! It's a happy.. sad move. We are happy to finally have some space, but sad to leave our ward.
Why we moved:
Here's the tale of why the Mellors moved.
With the economy how it was..er... is, we realized that we would not be able to sale our home and get the space we needed. We were told that we were going to be foreclosing on the home, but the bank won't let us do that. We would like to short sale, but the bank has been rejecting all offers in our townhomes.
We were in the process of short-saling, but decided against it in Dec of last year and started making payments again, (we'd only missed 3). In Feb, Curt lost his job and by the time we were able to make payments again, we looked into modifying the loan. We were told that we had to have this be our primary residence for 5 years. No bueno.
We would rent it out, but we hate out HOA so much. They have made things miserable for me, because I've been so outspoken against them and their unapproved changes. They are also wanting to raise their rates as they please. HOAs are rediculous.
We found a house that was great for us and we could afford it. It has 2x the space and breathing room.
Our new address? 321 W. Ninth Street, Mesa, 85201
The worst part? We missed the Trunk or Treat. Our Halloween (my favorite holiday) was spent moving. I went to the store and bought a bag of candy. It was sad. There were no costumes this year... which should make next year so much BETTER! (right? Please tell me that next year will be better.)
:)
We MOVED! It's a happy.. sad move. We are happy to finally have some space, but sad to leave our ward.
Why we moved:
Here's the tale of why the Mellors moved.
With the economy how it was..er... is, we realized that we would not be able to sale our home and get the space we needed. We were told that we were going to be foreclosing on the home, but the bank won't let us do that. We would like to short sale, but the bank has been rejecting all offers in our townhomes.
We were in the process of short-saling, but decided against it in Dec of last year and started making payments again, (we'd only missed 3). In Feb, Curt lost his job and by the time we were able to make payments again, we looked into modifying the loan. We were told that we had to have this be our primary residence for 5 years. No bueno.
We would rent it out, but we hate out HOA so much. They have made things miserable for me, because I've been so outspoken against them and their unapproved changes. They are also wanting to raise their rates as they please. HOAs are rediculous.
We found a house that was great for us and we could afford it. It has 2x the space and breathing room.
Our new address? 321 W. Ninth Street, Mesa, 85201
The worst part? We missed the Trunk or Treat. Our Halloween (my favorite holiday) was spent moving. I went to the store and bought a bag of candy. It was sad. There were no costumes this year... which should make next year so much BETTER! (right? Please tell me that next year will be better.)
:)
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Chocolate Vacuum
I have people tell me all the time that I have my hands full. Not really, but sometimes they're right.
Hayden is the best kid with a very active imagination.
BUT...
There are moments where he drives me C-R-A-Z-Y!!
This morning, I woke up to the sound of the vacuum. I had taken a nap because I haven't slept very well lately, in addition to the normal new-mom sleep. So, here I am, taking my nap and so I look over at the clock. It's 9:10. Olivia's asleep, Aaron and Alyssa have gone to school, and I dropped Curt off at the lightrail this morning. HAYDEN! So, I get my older-feeling bones and ever-sore back out of bed to find that it is, indeed, "Three". He's laughing like a mad man and has the vacuum stick-sucker-thingy out and is vacuuming the powder out of the NesQuik tube. The nice big tube, the one that costs quite a bit.
I turn it off and ask what he's doing. Oh, he's making chocolate milk. He told me that while I was asleep, I couldn't make it for him. So, he's making his own. He'd been asleep when I went down 1/2 hour before and he usually wakes me up. He told me that I looked cranky, I needed to get better, and that he didn't want to deal with cranky.
He's smart in his own little way. He had emptied the vacuum canister and rinsed it out with water, was sucking the chocolate powder up and was going to add milk and suck it with a straw. That way he wouldn't make a mess.
This may sound disgusting, he's thinking things through.
Hayden is the best kid with a very active imagination.
BUT...
There are moments where he drives me C-R-A-Z-Y!!
This morning, I woke up to the sound of the vacuum. I had taken a nap because I haven't slept very well lately, in addition to the normal new-mom sleep. So, here I am, taking my nap and so I look over at the clock. It's 9:10. Olivia's asleep, Aaron and Alyssa have gone to school, and I dropped Curt off at the lightrail this morning. HAYDEN! So, I get my older-feeling bones and ever-sore back out of bed to find that it is, indeed, "Three". He's laughing like a mad man and has the vacuum stick-sucker-thingy out and is vacuuming the powder out of the NesQuik tube. The nice big tube, the one that costs quite a bit.
I turn it off and ask what he's doing. Oh, he's making chocolate milk. He told me that while I was asleep, I couldn't make it for him. So, he's making his own. He'd been asleep when I went down 1/2 hour before and he usually wakes me up. He told me that I looked cranky, I needed to get better, and that he didn't want to deal with cranky.
He's smart in his own little way. He had emptied the vacuum canister and rinsed it out with water, was sucking the chocolate powder up and was going to add milk and suck it with a straw. That way he wouldn't make a mess.
This may sound disgusting, he's thinking things through.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Snails.
it's 10:15 at night and my two sons are outside, in the rain, lighting snails on fire. Should I be worried? They are having fun, and I'm not sure I want to interrupt it just for bedtime.
Super Saturday!
I'm so excited!
Before we leave this ward, I get to have a Super Saturday with my Ward Sisters!
I want to do everything that they are offering, but know that I can't spend the time. Maybe I can just buy the kits and assemble them after we are moved and settled ?
I'll try to post pictures (as soon as I get some new batteries and an SD card for the camera. Oh, and a hubby to do it for me.)
Before we leave this ward, I get to have a Super Saturday with my Ward Sisters!
I want to do everything that they are offering, but know that I can't spend the time. Maybe I can just buy the kits and assemble them after we are moved and settled ?
I'll try to post pictures (as soon as I get some new batteries and an SD card for the camera. Oh, and a hubby to do it for me.)
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Some news...
is good news, right?
Things are going well and we have adjusted to being home from the hospital.
She's doing well and sleeping a lot. She's always tired because her body is always in a growth spurt. She was at 7bs. 5 oz. at the Dr's on Tuesday, so she's gaining again. Her weight dropped for a week and now she's on her way again.
Aaron, Alyssa and Hayden are excited to move.
Oh, did I forget to mention that? Yeah, we are moving. I'm having a hard time with all of this moving stuff. But, I'm excited too.
Here's the hard part. We are leaving a home and ward that we've been in for 12 years. We are walking away from our home. We have 6 people now living in less than a 1,000 square feet. We don't have any room to breathe. It's lead to constant contention in our home. Our home isn't work 1/4 of what we owe, and we can't rent it out without losing money. Our HOA is horrible, they are possibly raising the monthly fee to $200. They don't do anything and they are wasteful.
We are leaving our ward. I have some wonderful friends that are here. I'm not going far, but it's still going to be hard not seeing them every week. Our current ward was hard for a while, because I was working. Once I quit, it was different. I had time to try harder to make friends. The one thing that I think helped was joining a book group that had been established for a few years. I loved it and learned to truly love the women in it. They are women that I will never NOT be friends with. FYI, I totally miss my friend Myra. She moved away and whenever I see her house, I want to go knock on the door in hopes that she'll answer. I'm conversationally wandering. So...
Here's the wonderful exciting part. The house we are moving into has 5 bedrooms and 2x the size of our little home. It's also the same price as our little home. There's a pool, which makes me a little nervous. Alyssa will finally have some privacy and so will Aaron. They are both in that stage of life (pre-teen) where they need to be able to have a place to study peacefully. Olivia is very sound sensitive and so we need to have a quiet place for her to sleep.
We are also going to have room to have people over without stressing where they will sit. We we finally be able to get a dining table. Curt and I have never had one of those. We've always sat in front of the TV because there is no room. (We have a bar window and it's always been in the way) It's just up the street and closer to Aaron's school, so he'll be able to ride his bike and Alyssa's bus stop is just around the corner. They can stay at their schools.
So, we are excited, nervous anxious and sad.
Things are going well and we have adjusted to being home from the hospital.
She's doing well and sleeping a lot. She's always tired because her body is always in a growth spurt. She was at 7bs. 5 oz. at the Dr's on Tuesday, so she's gaining again. Her weight dropped for a week and now she's on her way again.
Aaron, Alyssa and Hayden are excited to move.
Oh, did I forget to mention that? Yeah, we are moving. I'm having a hard time with all of this moving stuff. But, I'm excited too.
Here's the hard part. We are leaving a home and ward that we've been in for 12 years. We are walking away from our home. We have 6 people now living in less than a 1,000 square feet. We don't have any room to breathe. It's lead to constant contention in our home. Our home isn't work 1/4 of what we owe, and we can't rent it out without losing money. Our HOA is horrible, they are possibly raising the monthly fee to $200. They don't do anything and they are wasteful.
We are leaving our ward. I have some wonderful friends that are here. I'm not going far, but it's still going to be hard not seeing them every week. Our current ward was hard for a while, because I was working. Once I quit, it was different. I had time to try harder to make friends. The one thing that I think helped was joining a book group that had been established for a few years. I loved it and learned to truly love the women in it. They are women that I will never NOT be friends with. FYI, I totally miss my friend Myra. She moved away and whenever I see her house, I want to go knock on the door in hopes that she'll answer. I'm conversationally wandering. So...
Here's the wonderful exciting part. The house we are moving into has 5 bedrooms and 2x the size of our little home. It's also the same price as our little home. There's a pool, which makes me a little nervous. Alyssa will finally have some privacy and so will Aaron. They are both in that stage of life (pre-teen) where they need to be able to have a place to study peacefully. Olivia is very sound sensitive and so we need to have a quiet place for her to sleep.
We are also going to have room to have people over without stressing where they will sit. We we finally be able to get a dining table. Curt and I have never had one of those. We've always sat in front of the TV because there is no room. (We have a bar window and it's always been in the way) It's just up the street and closer to Aaron's school, so he'll be able to ride his bike and Alyssa's bus stop is just around the corner. They can stay at their schools.
So, we are excited, nervous anxious and sad.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Home?
Not being able to place an IV or a PICC line in the little Jellybean has proven to be a blessing!!!
Because they had to get the Antibiotics into her, they had to give her shots. That lasted for 3 whole shots every 6 hours. A nurse had to call someone in to do it, because she didn't want to poke anymore holes into Olivia. Her liver enzymes came back normal, so the Dr (we love her!) decided that we could switch to a 10 day treatment that would only have 1 shot perday. We were on day 7, so that meant that there were 3 days left to go. So, we had 3 days with 3 shots. Today was the 2nd shot, which means that if her levels all come back normal, we can go home after her shot tomorrow afternoon.
I seriously CAN wait, I'm not looking forward to how my home looks since I've been gone since last Thursday. I've lived at the hospital and have left only twice. I've visited home on one of the trips and saw my new-to-me couches. (They are wonderful, Thanks Sarah.)
So, does this mean that life can get back to our "new normal"? I sure hope so.
Because they had to get the Antibiotics into her, they had to give her shots. That lasted for 3 whole shots every 6 hours. A nurse had to call someone in to do it, because she didn't want to poke anymore holes into Olivia. Her liver enzymes came back normal, so the Dr (we love her!) decided that we could switch to a 10 day treatment that would only have 1 shot perday. We were on day 7, so that meant that there were 3 days left to go. So, we had 3 days with 3 shots. Today was the 2nd shot, which means that if her levels all come back normal, we can go home after her shot tomorrow afternoon.
I seriously CAN wait, I'm not looking forward to how my home looks since I've been gone since last Thursday. I've lived at the hospital and have left only twice. I've visited home on one of the trips and saw my new-to-me couches. (They are wonderful, Thanks Sarah.)
So, does this mean that life can get back to our "new normal"? I sure hope so.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Green Poop...
is good? I guess it is.
We found out this morning that we are going to be here until Sept 30th (I hope that's all.)
I will never again eat green jello. It's the color we're looking at right now.
Since this began, she lost the ability to urinate on her own, so I have to cathe her every 4 hours. The Dr said that is normal for Spina Bifida babies when they have an infection. So I put the catheter in, feed her while it drains her and she's putting out a lot of fluid. which is good.
Bad news, she's a hard stick. She's on her second IV and they tried to put in a PICC line this morning and they couldn't do it. I asked if maybe they could send someone over from NICU to do it and NICU refused to mix departments. They couldn't get it in because she's so small.
Speaking of small, she now weighs in at a hefty 6lbs, 8 ozs. She's almost 9 weeks old. I'm doing the best that I can, I feel like I'm feeding her every two hours. I'm surprised that certain body parts haven't been sucked off by now.
I'm living at the hospital. Tonight was the first time since last Thursday that I had left the building. It was kind of weird, but I'll live through this. It's kind of like living in a really expensive hotel with a super crappy bed. At least I know that I can take a half-an-hour shower and not stress over the water bill.
I'll keep updating. Thanks for the prayers, I'm grateful that she's being remembered and helped. Please pray for those who are caring for her, they are the ones with the answers.
Love You All!
We found out this morning that we are going to be here until Sept 30th (I hope that's all.)
I will never again eat green jello. It's the color we're looking at right now.
Since this began, she lost the ability to urinate on her own, so I have to cathe her every 4 hours. The Dr said that is normal for Spina Bifida babies when they have an infection. So I put the catheter in, feed her while it drains her and she's putting out a lot of fluid. which is good.
Bad news, she's a hard stick. She's on her second IV and they tried to put in a PICC line this morning and they couldn't do it. I asked if maybe they could send someone over from NICU to do it and NICU refused to mix departments. They couldn't get it in because she's so small.
Speaking of small, she now weighs in at a hefty 6lbs, 8 ozs. She's almost 9 weeks old. I'm doing the best that I can, I feel like I'm feeding her every two hours. I'm surprised that certain body parts haven't been sucked off by now.
I'm living at the hospital. Tonight was the first time since last Thursday that I had left the building. It was kind of weird, but I'll live through this. It's kind of like living in a really expensive hotel with a super crappy bed. At least I know that I can take a half-an-hour shower and not stress over the water bill.
I'll keep updating. Thanks for the prayers, I'm grateful that she's being remembered and helped. Please pray for those who are caring for her, they are the ones with the answers.
Love You All!
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Still here.
We're still here in Cardon's Childrens Hospital.
Jellybean has a severe UTI and they suspect that her Common Bile Duct has been clogged for sometime, but just started to show because of the UTI.
She's so cranky and the antibiotics that she's on is really doing a number on her digestive system on top of her bile pushing through.
the reason that I took her in on Thursday was because she had white poop. Now, it's bright green and they tell me that's good. It just seems weird for someone to have bright green poop without having eaten Booberry Cereal or Oops All Berrys first. So, we are here until she returns back to normal and is gaining weight.
Please keep her in your prayers.
Jellybean has a severe UTI and they suspect that her Common Bile Duct has been clogged for sometime, but just started to show because of the UTI.
She's so cranky and the antibiotics that she's on is really doing a number on her digestive system on top of her bile pushing through.
the reason that I took her in on Thursday was because she had white poop. Now, it's bright green and they tell me that's good. It just seems weird for someone to have bright green poop without having eaten Booberry Cereal or Oops All Berrys first. So, we are here until she returns back to normal and is gaining weight.
Please keep her in your prayers.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Here we are again.
Yep,we're here in the hospital... again.
I'm sleep deprived from having a cranky baby that we have found out has a UTI.
this stinks.
I'm sleep deprived from having a cranky baby that we have found out has a UTI.
this stinks.
Others
Yes, I do still have other children.
Yes, they do things.
Yes, my life is consummed with Olivia and her health issues.
Yes, I'm trying to find balance, stability and hopefully some peace
The kids are adjusting, and so am I.
They love Olivia as much as I do and are wonderful older siblings.
I'll blog about them soon.
Yes, they do things.
Yes, my life is consummed with Olivia and her health issues.
Yes, I'm trying to find balance, stability and hopefully some peace
The kids are adjusting, and so am I.
They love Olivia as much as I do and are wonderful older siblings.
I'll blog about them soon.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Friday, September 10, 2010
Hayden's new facination.
Because, we are going there.
"Boo-bees"
Breasts
Boobs
Chestals
Frontal exposures
Shelves
(There are a plethora of other names, you know.)
You can:
1) Cease reading this if you feel that you will be offended by this topic.
OR
2) You can continue reading and see my darling 3 year old Blondie as a boy on a mission.
So, we are dealing with a curious and outwardly spoken boy. I have been struggling to keep in the laughter as he runs straight into JC Penny's for the Bra section to bury his head in the bras and yell, "Ah, boobies... I am home."
The other thing happening is that he keeps trying to surprise me to get a look at Olivia as she's having her "Breast Buffet". I have caught him looking at me out of the corner of his eye to try to sneak a peak.
He's opened the bathroom door while I'm in the shower to sneak a peak only to be thwarted by the shower curtain. I hear his, "Dang." as he shuts the door.
I'm not sure how to handle this. I really hope that it passes... SOON.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Socially Inbred.
Yes, there is a term for the scenario where you meet someone who knows your sister's ex-boyfriend's new wife and her cousin is your best friend.
This term also applies to the very real: my best friend's little sister married the guy that lived up the street from my husband and the guy's older sister is my friend's best friend from their teenage years.
Just a few minutes ago, I just found out that the mother of a new family that moved into the ward and is my daughter's new Activity Days Leader is the younger sister of a guy that I had a crush on in high school (it's been 18 years!) and now that I think back, I totally remember her... in a good way.
Confusing? Yes. We are LDS and we are Socially Inbred.
This term also applies to the very real: my best friend's little sister married the guy that lived up the street from my husband and the guy's older sister is my friend's best friend from their teenage years.
Just a few minutes ago, I just found out that the mother of a new family that moved into the ward and is my daughter's new Activity Days Leader is the younger sister of a guy that I had a crush on in high school (it's been 18 years!) and now that I think back, I totally remember her... in a good way.
Confusing? Yes. We are LDS and we are Socially Inbred.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Back to church!
After a wild morning at home, we finally made it to church.
Wild Morning was "chaotic" to be nice about it. Curt had to play for the choir, I was back at the organ, so we both needed to be there early. I woke up at 7 am on the couch with a Jellybean in my lap. It had been a rough night, she wouldn't sleep longer than 1 hour at a time. Aaron was getting up, Alyssa was getting up, Hayden was getting up, Curt was NOT. I jumped in the shower for 5 seconds and then went to get up the nearly 40 year old man. He was just barely able to get himself out the door in time. Thankfully, he was kind enough to ride his bike to the church and leave the car for me. But, I was still at home getting myself and 3 kids ready (Aaron is so awesome.)
As I walked in the chapel at 8:45 to start the prelude, I was attacked and didn't have time for it! I needed to find Curt NOW and he was putting on his tie. He had been waiting for me to get there before he did and couldn't wait any longer. Olivia was starting to cry and so I gave her to my friend, Shannon, and had her wait in a room off the foyer until 3 people that I set out to find Curt got him to the right room.
I got into the chapel and it was LOUD! I started playing and people still were talking loud. So, I quit playing and people realized how irreverent they were. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people talk loudly in the chapel... even in the building. I talk loud, but I try not to in the church building. This being said, let's move on.
I got the opening and sacrament songs done and went to sit down... kids were being great.
Curt played for the choir... kids are a little ancy, but still fine.
I get up to play the closing song and all H-E-double hockey sticks breaks loose. Aaron started caveman-ing and Alyssa got upset because Aaron took something of hers, Hayden was oblivious. I started playing the first verse and ntoice a commotion coming from the kids,made my first mistake. Got to the second verse, and it was worse, I played even more mistakes. Got through the third verse but only by totally ignoring the kids, and trusting that Curt can take care of it all. Fourth verse, I was a wreck and couldn't focus. After the closing prayer, I see what I believe to be a "Homer/Bart Simpson" moment where Curt is strangling Aaron. I try not to laugh, but it was hard. They spent some time together after the meeting and after church figuring out ways that this will never happen again (but it probably will).
Needless to say, we learned a great many things.
* Always separate the two older kids
* Curt needs to not strangle Aaron in front of others.
* Bring snacks to keep the Caveman away.
* Have Curt and the family sit where the are NOT in my peripheral vision.
* Set an alarm for Sunday morning.
* Aaron and Curt riding bikes to church together will be a good thing, Curt will get to church on time!
* The choir... is a whole other subject together.
* Curt can play in front of others.
* There are a ton of people around; some to stall you, some to help you get where you need to be.
* I can go on auto-pilot and still play the organ; if I've practiced enough.
Wild Morning was "chaotic" to be nice about it. Curt had to play for the choir, I was back at the organ, so we both needed to be there early. I woke up at 7 am on the couch with a Jellybean in my lap. It had been a rough night, she wouldn't sleep longer than 1 hour at a time. Aaron was getting up, Alyssa was getting up, Hayden was getting up, Curt was NOT. I jumped in the shower for 5 seconds and then went to get up the nearly 40 year old man. He was just barely able to get himself out the door in time. Thankfully, he was kind enough to ride his bike to the church and leave the car for me. But, I was still at home getting myself and 3 kids ready (Aaron is so awesome.)
As I walked in the chapel at 8:45 to start the prelude, I was attacked and didn't have time for it! I needed to find Curt NOW and he was putting on his tie. He had been waiting for me to get there before he did and couldn't wait any longer. Olivia was starting to cry and so I gave her to my friend, Shannon, and had her wait in a room off the foyer until 3 people that I set out to find Curt got him to the right room.
I got into the chapel and it was LOUD! I started playing and people still were talking loud. So, I quit playing and people realized how irreverent they were. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people talk loudly in the chapel... even in the building. I talk loud, but I try not to in the church building. This being said, let's move on.
I got the opening and sacrament songs done and went to sit down... kids were being great.
Curt played for the choir... kids are a little ancy, but still fine.
I get up to play the closing song and all H-E-double hockey sticks breaks loose. Aaron started caveman-ing and Alyssa got upset because Aaron took something of hers, Hayden was oblivious. I started playing the first verse and ntoice a commotion coming from the kids,made my first mistake. Got to the second verse, and it was worse, I played even more mistakes. Got through the third verse but only by totally ignoring the kids, and trusting that Curt can take care of it all. Fourth verse, I was a wreck and couldn't focus. After the closing prayer, I see what I believe to be a "Homer/Bart Simpson" moment where Curt is strangling Aaron. I try not to laugh, but it was hard. They spent some time together after the meeting and after church figuring out ways that this will never happen again (but it probably will).
Needless to say, we learned a great many things.
* Always separate the two older kids
* Curt needs to not strangle Aaron in front of others.
* Bring snacks to keep the Caveman away.
* Have Curt and the family sit where the are NOT in my peripheral vision.
* Set an alarm for Sunday morning.
* Aaron and Curt riding bikes to church together will be a good thing, Curt will get to church on time!
* The choir... is a whole other subject together.
* Curt can play in front of others.
* There are a ton of people around; some to stall you, some to help you get where you need to be.
* I can go on auto-pilot and still play the organ; if I've practiced enough.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Update to Shunt Love
We went to the neurosurgeon yesterday. Olivia's shunt is working well!
She had a CT scan and she did so well. The tech went to strap her in the papoose and was surprised that she didn't fight him on it. She has to have her hands near her face to feel okay and the tech pt her arms down by her side. I told him that he's going to have to strap her in well in order for her not to pull her hands out. He didn't believe me. About 2 minutes into the scans, her little fingers popped up over the edge of the cloth. A minute later both of her hands were out and up by her cheeks.
She also had her head strapped in and she wasn't fighting that either. She cried a little when they started the scan, but that's because the machine was vibrating and she didn't like it.
Everything turned out well though and Dr. Elton is awesome. We love his staff and would highly recommend him to anyone! He's okay with me being the paranoid Mom.
She had a CT scan and she did so well. The tech went to strap her in the papoose and was surprised that she didn't fight him on it. She has to have her hands near her face to feel okay and the tech pt her arms down by her side. I told him that he's going to have to strap her in well in order for her not to pull her hands out. He didn't believe me. About 2 minutes into the scans, her little fingers popped up over the edge of the cloth. A minute later both of her hands were out and up by her cheeks.
She also had her head strapped in and she wasn't fighting that either. She cried a little when they started the scan, but that's because the machine was vibrating and she didn't like it.
Everything turned out well though and Dr. Elton is awesome. We love his staff and would highly recommend him to anyone! He's okay with me being the paranoid Mom.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Shunt Love
or is it?
So, Olivia has a shunt in her brain.
I love that her brain is no longer pressurized.
I hate that she's lost that "I've got a big head, because I'm so smart" look.
(Seriously, it was SuperHero-ish)
She's been cranky the last few days.
Is it lack of sleep?
Overstimulation?
Shunt Failure?
We'll find out tomorrow.
So, Olivia has a shunt in her brain.
I love that her brain is no longer pressurized.
I hate that she's lost that "I've got a big head, because I'm so smart" look.
(Seriously, it was SuperHero-ish)
She's been cranky the last few days.
Is it lack of sleep?
Overstimulation?
Shunt Failure?
We'll find out tomorrow.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
All is calm.
Well, mostly calm.
We are hunkered in right now to let Jellybean grow. She's starting to fill out a little and she's becoming more aware everyday.
Her face keeps changing. One day she'll look like me, the next day will be my dad and then she'll look like Hayden.
I'm hoping to get some pictures posted soon, I just need to commandeer Curt's laptop to do it!
We are hunkered in right now to let Jellybean grow. She's starting to fill out a little and she's becoming more aware everyday.
Her face keeps changing. One day she'll look like me, the next day will be my dad and then she'll look like Hayden.
I'm hoping to get some pictures posted soon, I just need to commandeer Curt's laptop to do it!
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Life with Jellybean.
She's a great little baby. The nurses trained her well.
She's not a big cryer. She sings in her sleep. She sleeps really well because she's a preemie and everyday is a growing day.
We are trying to transition from bottle to nursing. Finally, the pediatrician stepped in with a great way to get her off the bottle. (That sounds so bad.) She's doing much better and is getting a ton of feeding done. We hope to be done with the "Honkers" (pump) soon.
Bladder usage is something that is a source of concern with Spina Bifida babies. A lot of them need use of a catheter. She's surprised us all with this. Right now, we have to cathe her once a day. She's emptying her bladder all the way. We just need to get through the next week until her appt with the urologist. We can't wait. She may never have a problem with this ever again!
She's a poop-monster. She does it often, loud and clear.
She's not on any medications!!! This is so great!
Her incisions on her head, abdomen and spine are healing beautifully. There is little care required with that.
She has a little feeling in her left leg. She twitches her left foot. Her right side is a little different, there's not as much movement. She has hip flexion on both sides; chances are that she'll be able to walk with therapy.
Everyday is different and new. Today was a "weaning off the bottle" day, tomorrow will be the same, and the day after until she gets that no bottles make mom a "happy cow".
I am so grateful for all of my family and friends who have helped, chatted with me and prayed for all of us. The dinners have been awesome and I'm eager to get back to church and a new normal schedule.
She's not a big cryer. She sings in her sleep. She sleeps really well because she's a preemie and everyday is a growing day.
We are trying to transition from bottle to nursing. Finally, the pediatrician stepped in with a great way to get her off the bottle. (That sounds so bad.) She's doing much better and is getting a ton of feeding done. We hope to be done with the "Honkers" (pump) soon.
Bladder usage is something that is a source of concern with Spina Bifida babies. A lot of them need use of a catheter. She's surprised us all with this. Right now, we have to cathe her once a day. She's emptying her bladder all the way. We just need to get through the next week until her appt with the urologist. We can't wait. She may never have a problem with this ever again!
She's a poop-monster. She does it often, loud and clear.
She's not on any medications!!! This is so great!
Her incisions on her head, abdomen and spine are healing beautifully. There is little care required with that.
She has a little feeling in her left leg. She twitches her left foot. Her right side is a little different, there's not as much movement. She has hip flexion on both sides; chances are that she'll be able to walk with therapy.
Everyday is different and new. Today was a "weaning off the bottle" day, tomorrow will be the same, and the day after until she gets that no bottles make mom a "happy cow".
I am so grateful for all of my family and friends who have helped, chatted with me and prayed for all of us. The dinners have been awesome and I'm eager to get back to church and a new normal schedule.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
The Jellybean has landed!
We are in shock.
At noon today, Dr. Ashish Patel (who is adorable by the way) came in to tell me that there's a chance that Olivia could maybe come home this weekend.
(See the world weekend? Not hard to miss... easy to define. Saturday, Sunday, one of the two. It's important to know the phrase weekend.)
Step 1: Cheer
Step 2: PANIC!!!
What the What?!?! Are you serious? You trust me to take her home?
Then, as I was in panic mode, I get another call while at my friend, Emily's home and it's Dr. Patel again asking me if I want to take her home tonight. It's Friday... not weekend.
Ummmmmmm... ummmmmm... what? SURE!!!!
Now that she's home? I have no idea what to do. Maybe buy the Good Dr. a dictionary? (Weekend... Sheesh, Ashish.)
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
I promise...
* ...not to ignore my other kids and their needs. If you see me out and about, and then I call you for help with something, chances are that I am stressed and overwhelmed and just needed a break (or just help).
* ...not to take on more than I can handle. I will not offer to watch your kids until I feel stable. If you ask and I tell you "no", don't get angry with me, I'm dealing with enough. Don't try to guilt trip me into something for you, the answer won't change. Guilt trips don't work on me, unless you are someone that at one point lived INSIDE my uterus.
* ...that my family will come first, and that includes the one in the hospital. If I don't make it to an event that was planned 4 months ago, you need to be flexible. I will try to make it, but if I don't ~ that's okay. Someday, I'll be flexible for you.
* ...I will be the worst friend in existence. If I don't ask how you are doing and only talk about Olivia, it's because that's where my mind is living right now. It will pass... she won't be in the hospital forever.
* ...I won't call everyone back. I will try, we'll see what the day brings.
* ...I will cry later. I know I'm strong, but there will be moments of weakness where I will cry over the many feelings that I have. I will cry over the sad things. I will cry with joyful tears over accomplishments. I will cry, I just need to be stable enough first. Let me do it when I need to.
* ...I will throw a "three-year-old" sized temper tantrum: complete with foot-stomping, snapping, and anger if it's 6:00pm and I still haven't been down to the hospital to see my littlest daughter.
* ... nay, I SUPER PROMISE, that I'll be back soon. Please leave your message at the sound of the beep "beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep"!!!
(Sorry guys, some of this needed to be said. It doesn't apply to most, but you wouldn't believe some of the things that people have said to me.)
* ...not to take on more than I can handle. I will not offer to watch your kids until I feel stable. If you ask and I tell you "no", don't get angry with me, I'm dealing with enough. Don't try to guilt trip me into something for you, the answer won't change. Guilt trips don't work on me, unless you are someone that at one point lived INSIDE my uterus.
* ...that my family will come first, and that includes the one in the hospital. If I don't make it to an event that was planned 4 months ago, you need to be flexible. I will try to make it, but if I don't ~ that's okay. Someday, I'll be flexible for you.
* ...I will be the worst friend in existence. If I don't ask how you are doing and only talk about Olivia, it's because that's where my mind is living right now. It will pass... she won't be in the hospital forever.
* ...I won't call everyone back. I will try, we'll see what the day brings.
* ...I will cry later. I know I'm strong, but there will be moments of weakness where I will cry over the many feelings that I have. I will cry over the sad things. I will cry with joyful tears over accomplishments. I will cry, I just need to be stable enough first. Let me do it when I need to.
* ...I will throw a "three-year-old" sized temper tantrum: complete with foot-stomping, snapping, and anger if it's 6:00pm and I still haven't been down to the hospital to see my littlest daughter.
* ... nay, I SUPER PROMISE, that I'll be back soon. Please leave your message at the sound of the beep "beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep"!!!
(Sorry guys, some of this needed to be said. It doesn't apply to most, but you wouldn't believe some of the things that people have said to me.)
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Joy and Journals
A few people have asked me lately how I can remain so positive when it seems like there is so much stress going on.
Answer #1: Prayer. It's simple ~ have a conversation with Heavenly Father. You'll be surprised at what he has to say and what he has in store.
Answer #2: Read the Ensign.
A few weeks back, we had a lesson on the importance of the Ensign.
I have been comforted in ways that I never thought possible through other's articles.
Answer #3: My Journal. It's provided me with a way to get out what's in my head without having to worry about others' opinions. I have a few things in the front of my journal: my patriarchal blessing, a letter from my Father in Law and a letter from my Mom that I got when I was a teenager at Youth Conference. Also, a tithing envelope to remind me to keep myself prepared. Click here for Pres. Eyring's talk about journals.
Answer #4: Staying Positive: We are given the right to view things as we wish. There is something positive in everything that happens. You just have to search for it. Sometimes, you have to search for quite a bit just to get a glimpse. Once you get used to it, that searching becomes a wonderful habit and then you end up with a "Pollyanna Complex" just like me. Find Joy in YOUR Journey.
Answer #1: Prayer. It's simple ~ have a conversation with Heavenly Father. You'll be surprised at what he has to say and what he has in store.
Answer #2: Read the Ensign.
A few weeks back, we had a lesson on the importance of the Ensign.
I have been comforted in ways that I never thought possible through other's articles.
Answer #3: My Journal. It's provided me with a way to get out what's in my head without having to worry about others' opinions. I have a few things in the front of my journal: my patriarchal blessing, a letter from my Father in Law and a letter from my Mom that I got when I was a teenager at Youth Conference. Also, a tithing envelope to remind me to keep myself prepared. Click here for Pres. Eyring's talk about journals.
Answer #4: Staying Positive: We are given the right to view things as we wish. There is something positive in everything that happens. You just have to search for it. Sometimes, you have to search for quite a bit just to get a glimpse. Once you get used to it, that searching becomes a wonderful habit and then you end up with a "Pollyanna Complex" just like me. Find Joy in YOUR Journey.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
It's late.
Well, kind of. I'm at the hospital and it's 10:10 pm. I should be on my way home, but I'm finding it hard to stay away from Jellybean for very long.
There was some great news when I walked in the NICU today... there was something different. Then the nurse told me...
She had her feeding tube removed! She's even cuter than before.
Fine, I'll head home. See you tomorrow Olivia!
There was some great news when I walked in the NICU today... there was something different. Then the nurse told me...
She had her feeding tube removed! She's even cuter than before.
Fine, I'll head home. See you tomorrow Olivia!
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Pictures and tidbits
My friend, Whitney, came down to the NICU yesterday and took some beautiful pictures of our little Jellybean. Here's the one she sent as a sneak preview!!!
Thank you so much for the photo shoot, it was so much fun working with you! You're the best!
By the way, I have a lot of you, my dearest friends, asking what you can call our little girl. Call her Olivia, call her Jellybean. She's the same child either way and I've even added in "Squishyface" because I just want to squish her cheeks. Don't feel bad if you just can't get past calling her "Jellybean", it's no different than people calling Hayden "Tater", "Tater Tot" or "Tate", he answers to all names.
But, I have found that by calling her Jellybean, the Drs, nurses, and all the other axillary people that are involved remember the best and don't have to refresh themselves to remember what's going on with her case.
Also, I know a lot of you are a little shy about asking questions. Don't be. I'm okay with answering them. I know that you are asking because you care and I'll love you for that.
If you call and I haven't called you back, I'm sorry. You're not the only one. I've been trying to spend as much time at the hospital as I can so that when I get home, I don't freak out with all the caretaking things she needs. I'll call you when I get the chance.
Love you all!!
Thank you so much for the photo shoot, it was so much fun working with you! You're the best!
By the way, I have a lot of you, my dearest friends, asking what you can call our little girl. Call her Olivia, call her Jellybean. She's the same child either way and I've even added in "Squishyface" because I just want to squish her cheeks. Don't feel bad if you just can't get past calling her "Jellybean", it's no different than people calling Hayden "Tater", "Tater Tot" or "Tate", he answers to all names.
But, I have found that by calling her Jellybean, the Drs, nurses, and all the other axillary people that are involved remember the best and don't have to refresh themselves to remember what's going on with her case.
Also, I know a lot of you are a little shy about asking questions. Don't be. I'm okay with answering them. I know that you are asking because you care and I'll love you for that.
If you call and I haven't called you back, I'm sorry. You're not the only one. I've been trying to spend as much time at the hospital as I can so that when I get home, I don't freak out with all the caretaking things she needs. I'll call you when I get the chance.
Love you all!!
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Today!
Everyday is a new day, and it usually has one or two improvements along the way.
While I was holding (and snuggling and slightly squishing) Olivia, the other nurse were in the area next to me getting out another baby's PICC line (a really long IV).
The baby (let's call her Eve) was screaming, wailing and thrashing around. They kept calling in more nurses to hold Eve down. I was wondering what was going on, but chose to just it and listen.
Suddenly, I hear my nurse talking to them and she was talking about my little, calm child. "I did this all by myself yesterday to Olivia, and she just looked at me with her big wide eyes and made squeaks as though she was talking to me. It's so weird how two babies can be so vastly different"
Ahhhhhh... my baby's a calm soul.
Just wait until the other kids get a hold of her.
While I was holding (and snuggling and slightly squishing) Olivia, the other nurse were in the area next to me getting out another baby's PICC line (a really long IV).
The baby (let's call her Eve) was screaming, wailing and thrashing around. They kept calling in more nurses to hold Eve down. I was wondering what was going on, but chose to just it and listen.
Suddenly, I hear my nurse talking to them and she was talking about my little, calm child. "I did this all by myself yesterday to Olivia, and she just looked at me with her big wide eyes and made squeaks as though she was talking to me. It's so weird how two babies can be so vastly different"
Ahhhhhh... my baby's a calm soul.
Just wait until the other kids get a hold of her.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Thank you Steph...
The cinnamon rolls are delicious (and huge!).<---click for her post.
Thank you for being my friend. You've always been there, too. If someday we are old and find ourselves being roomies in some nursing home, at least we know we'll be happy and well-fed... okay, so we'll make each other fat. No harm there, right?
I know that angels are holding her tight.
She's a miracle and a testament to the power of the priesthood.
I'm still the luckiest mom in the world!! All of my kids are miracles in their own little way and I love all 4 of their great (and stubborn) spirits.
Thank you for being my friend. You've always been there, too. If someday we are old and find ourselves being roomies in some nursing home, at least we know we'll be happy and well-fed... okay, so we'll make each other fat. No harm there, right?
I know that angels are holding her tight.
She's a miracle and a testament to the power of the priesthood.
I'm still the luckiest mom in the world!! All of my kids are miracles in their own little way and I love all 4 of their great (and stubborn) spirits.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Guess who?
... got to hold her sweet little Jeallybean today?!? Me!! I was so excited to have the nurse ask me if I wanted to hold her! What was I going to say? "No, I'm not interested." Seriously? She's so much smaller than any baby I've ever had. She's at 5 lbs, 8 oz. Oh, she's soooo little!!!
... who is taking a bottle and will soon be able to be fed by mommy? Of course it's Olivia too! I was able to feed her too!
... who is home from Geronimo and his mom realized how wonderful it is to have him home. Even Alyssa admitted that life is more fun with Aaron.
... who loves her sister and has a very hard time leaving her at the hospital? Alyssa, that's the answer. She's the first one in her room and to kiss Olivia's head.
Olivia had traces of an infection last night and the Drs. immediately put her on antibiotics. She responded quickly to the meds and was back to "normal" early this morning.
She's starting to fill her diapers! We have been wondering if she'll have the bladder problems that normally come with Spina Bifida babies. She's also proved that she's related to Hayden. They are both "poop-monsters"! Wow!
There are so many miracles happening with our little Olivia every day. I'm very grateful for everyone who's been there to offer support, meals and prayers for our family.
We love you.
... who is taking a bottle and will soon be able to be fed by mommy? Of course it's Olivia too! I was able to feed her too!
... who is home from Geronimo and his mom realized how wonderful it is to have him home. Even Alyssa admitted that life is more fun with Aaron.
... who loves her sister and has a very hard time leaving her at the hospital? Alyssa, that's the answer. She's the first one in her room and to kiss Olivia's head.
Olivia had traces of an infection last night and the Drs. immediately put her on antibiotics. She responded quickly to the meds and was back to "normal" early this morning.
She's starting to fill her diapers! We have been wondering if she'll have the bladder problems that normally come with Spina Bifida babies. She's also proved that she's related to Hayden. They are both "poop-monsters"! Wow!
There are so many miracles happening with our little Olivia every day. I'm very grateful for everyone who's been there to offer support, meals and prayers for our family.
We love you.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Update and Pictures
She had her spinal surgery on Friday morning and the dr said all was well, but they would keep watch over her head circumference to see if the was any swelling in her head.
When Aaron first met her, he said hello and she moved her arm up in the air.
She was so tired, but that movement made me laugh. It was as though she was telling him hello.
She's been on her left and her arm and leg were swollen.
This morning when I went to greet her, they had flipped her over so the swelling would even out.
It took 3 people to lift and flip her.
The nurses said that she tolerated it very well and that she's showing signs of agitation when there's excessive noise. It's a good thing.
She doesn't cry because she's on a breathing machine that's called an ocilator. It's teeny littlle breaths so that her lungs can decompress from being stuck up in her abdomen and they won't take the fluid out too fast because it'll do more harm than good.
Oh, we love this girl... everyone that she's come in contact with have felt a special connection with her. She's such an awesome spirit and I'm so grateful for the Lord, priesthood blessings, technology, nurses, and Drs for allowing me to keep her!
This morning, after the drained the fluid a little more, she weighed in at 5 lbs. 10 oz. which is pretty good sized for a 33 week baby.
Her recorded birth weight is 7lbs, 3 oz but a that's including the abdominal fluid.
She's 17 inches long. She's tall!!!
I guess I downloaded these in the wrong order.
Anyway, this is a picture of her back after the surgery.
It looks pretty good because the swelling had gone down.
BTW, this is the back of her head and she was under the bililights!
Now...
her cute little Jellybean face.
Oh, she's too adorable! She's got a double chin!
If you look close at her arm, you can see the bruising from being inside when there wasn't any amniotic fluid for her to float in.
Seriously, isn't she the cutest thing!
Here she is all in the buff!
It's funny that she's naked while every other baby I see is a baby-burrito!
Her tummy looks so much smaller than it was when she was born.
She's done SO much better than the Drs expected!!!
She's HERE!
I know...I know... she's here a bit earlier than expected.
On Thursday, I went in for what I thought was a monitoring of her little heart. I was so WRONG!
So, I got to the Drs' office and the hooked me up to the monitors. They noticed after about 15 minutes that she wasn't moving... at alll. Her heartrate was normal, then would dip, then normal, then dip, and she was showing signs of fetal distress. They took me in for an ultrasound and tried to find any sign that she was okay. Everything they looked for, they couldn't find. She wouldn't move. The only sign that she was still alive was her heartbeat that was a little "iffy". I thought that Dr. Ghandi would send me to the hospital for monitoring, but instead she surprised me with the announcement that the ambulance was on the way to run me to Banner Desert for delivery. It all happened so fast and the only thought that I had was "I wonder if my brother, Rich, would be one of the paramedics?" (They said that he'd just gotten finished for the day or he would have been. Too cool.)
So, in office, they started quizzing me about everything and putting in an IV. They told me that I was a Code 3 and I got to have the sirens and lights! That was pretty neat and we joked the whole time. I knew it was serious, but I was still in shock this was all happening.
I had called Curt from the Dr's office and told him that he needed to meet me at the hospital. He called his brother to pick him up from the lightrail. We both thought that we'd have a little more time. When I was getting prepped for surgery, they told me that they wouldn't wait for him. I called him and told him that they were rushing me in for emergency C-section. Finally, as they were wheeling me into the OR, they threw scrubs at Curt and told him to hurry and get changed.... they weren't waiting.
I was chatting with the anesthesiologists and they were doing the spinal block and I told the one to get in front of me because I needed something to hug to hold me still. So, as I was getting stabbed in the back, I had my arms around a Dr. that I'd met only 3 minutes before. I grabbed onto his love handles on his back and everytime something stung, I'd squeeze. He told the other Dr to quit hurting me because he was going to get bruised by my pinching hands.
Finally, as they were starting to cut me open, I heard Curt's voice in the back of the room. The doctors were giving him all the information that they had learned so far and told him that when he would see Jellybean she would not look like she was living. They asked Curt if he was prepared for the possibility that she might not make it. So, when he got to me, he was crying and just kissed me on the forehead and sat down. I grabbed his hand and told him that she was going to be okay. He just shook his head and I told him to trust me. I KNEW that she was gong to make it.
Anyway, they told me to not be surprised if she didn't cry after she was born. I was prepared for anything.
So, they got her out, and took her to the back of the room and started working on getting her stable. Her belly was extremely distended and swollen. They did a temporary patch on her back and got her stable. She was much more reponsive than they expected. The Drs were very surprised. Before they took her upstairs, they brought her over and I got to kiss her and tell her that I loved her. Curt went with her as they brought her to the NICU. I was sewn up and sent to recover. My Dad came and chatted with me and Curt came down to tell me that the doctors were so happy with Jellybean and had her mostly stable. She was doing well with everything that was going on. Then, my sister Jen came to visit and made me feel happy while Curt went to stay with her for a while longer. They drained some of the fluid out of her belly and sent it for testing.
They finally got me up to a room and the Neurosurgeon came to talk to us and tell us that he thought she had become stable enough to have surgery the next morning. I felt strongly that she'd need a blessing before she was operated on and had he back closed. So we decided to go on ahead and give her a name and a blessing.
After the surgery, Dr. Elton came to see us and told us that everything looks beautiful and her back is swollen, but that it will go down. When we went to see her later on, she was still sedated and they'll keep her loke that for a few days. They don't want her to move when she's swollen; they want her to heal.
They had the urologist come visit and he found her bladder. She's urinating great now. After the ultrasound, they found out that the fluid wasn't urine acites and the bladder hadn't ruptured. Hooray! Now they have to figure out what the fluid really is, where it's coming from and why it's there.
So, she's stable for now. Well, as stable as she can be. We trust the Doctors and all the wonderful staff at the hospital.
Oh yeah... her name?
I'll post more later.
Yes, I'm healing. Little by little.
Yes, it hurts.
Yes, I'm grateful she's here, early
Please keep her in your prayers.
On Thursday, I went in for what I thought was a monitoring of her little heart. I was so WRONG!
So, I got to the Drs' office and the hooked me up to the monitors. They noticed after about 15 minutes that she wasn't moving... at alll. Her heartrate was normal, then would dip, then normal, then dip, and she was showing signs of fetal distress. They took me in for an ultrasound and tried to find any sign that she was okay. Everything they looked for, they couldn't find. She wouldn't move. The only sign that she was still alive was her heartbeat that was a little "iffy". I thought that Dr. Ghandi would send me to the hospital for monitoring, but instead she surprised me with the announcement that the ambulance was on the way to run me to Banner Desert for delivery. It all happened so fast and the only thought that I had was "I wonder if my brother, Rich, would be one of the paramedics?" (They said that he'd just gotten finished for the day or he would have been. Too cool.)
So, in office, they started quizzing me about everything and putting in an IV. They told me that I was a Code 3 and I got to have the sirens and lights! That was pretty neat and we joked the whole time. I knew it was serious, but I was still in shock this was all happening.
I had called Curt from the Dr's office and told him that he needed to meet me at the hospital. He called his brother to pick him up from the lightrail. We both thought that we'd have a little more time. When I was getting prepped for surgery, they told me that they wouldn't wait for him. I called him and told him that they were rushing me in for emergency C-section. Finally, as they were wheeling me into the OR, they threw scrubs at Curt and told him to hurry and get changed.... they weren't waiting.
I was chatting with the anesthesiologists and they were doing the spinal block and I told the one to get in front of me because I needed something to hug to hold me still. So, as I was getting stabbed in the back, I had my arms around a Dr. that I'd met only 3 minutes before. I grabbed onto his love handles on his back and everytime something stung, I'd squeeze. He told the other Dr to quit hurting me because he was going to get bruised by my pinching hands.
Finally, as they were starting to cut me open, I heard Curt's voice in the back of the room. The doctors were giving him all the information that they had learned so far and told him that when he would see Jellybean she would not look like she was living. They asked Curt if he was prepared for the possibility that she might not make it. So, when he got to me, he was crying and just kissed me on the forehead and sat down. I grabbed his hand and told him that she was going to be okay. He just shook his head and I told him to trust me. I KNEW that she was gong to make it.
Anyway, they told me to not be surprised if she didn't cry after she was born. I was prepared for anything.
So, they got her out, and took her to the back of the room and started working on getting her stable. Her belly was extremely distended and swollen. They did a temporary patch on her back and got her stable. She was much more reponsive than they expected. The Drs were very surprised. Before they took her upstairs, they brought her over and I got to kiss her and tell her that I loved her. Curt went with her as they brought her to the NICU. I was sewn up and sent to recover. My Dad came and chatted with me and Curt came down to tell me that the doctors were so happy with Jellybean and had her mostly stable. She was doing well with everything that was going on. Then, my sister Jen came to visit and made me feel happy while Curt went to stay with her for a while longer. They drained some of the fluid out of her belly and sent it for testing.
They finally got me up to a room and the Neurosurgeon came to talk to us and tell us that he thought she had become stable enough to have surgery the next morning. I felt strongly that she'd need a blessing before she was operated on and had he back closed. So we decided to go on ahead and give her a name and a blessing.
After the surgery, Dr. Elton came to see us and told us that everything looks beautiful and her back is swollen, but that it will go down. When we went to see her later on, she was still sedated and they'll keep her loke that for a few days. They don't want her to move when she's swollen; they want her to heal.
They had the urologist come visit and he found her bladder. She's urinating great now. After the ultrasound, they found out that the fluid wasn't urine acites and the bladder hadn't ruptured. Hooray! Now they have to figure out what the fluid really is, where it's coming from and why it's there.
So, she's stable for now. Well, as stable as she can be. We trust the Doctors and all the wonderful staff at the hospital.
Oh yeah... her name?
Olivia Gwen Mellor
(pretty cute, huh?)I'll post more later.
Yes, I'm healing. Little by little.
Yes, it hurts.
Yes, I'm grateful she's here, early
Please keep her in your prayers.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
More... and more
The ultrasound was yesterday afternoon. My Dr, Dr. Clewell says it's not good. He can't find what's wrong. He's been a Perinatal Dr for decades and he's never seen anything like this. He can't find a reason for her abdominal cavity to be full of fluid. They can't really find her bladder, but thinks that he may have seen it squished up against the back of the cavity. There's a team of 20 Drs that will be reviewing my case on Thursday morning and Dr. Clewell is hoping that someone may have seen something that was missed. I'm grateful for him; that he would say that he doesn't know rather than to guess and perform a surgery that might make things worse. He can't figure out what would have happened in a 2 week period of time that would have made things turn from normal to ????
The reason that they can't find out a whole lot of stuff is because she's not floating. There's very little amiotic fluid, even a little less than before and so the transceivers have a hard time portraying her image. So I'll have weekly ultrasounds and will have twice weekly heart monitoring. She's sitting on my pelvic floor and it's painful depending on how she's laying.
I'm grateful for all of the prayers and support that I have recieved from all of my famiy and friends. I feel extremely blessed and uplifted by those around me.
Yesterday, Curt and I were talking and I told him that I am trying to keep it together but when am I allowed to fall apart? It then occured to me that everytime that I started to loose it just a little bit, things would come to my mind to remind me who I am and that I have Heavenly support: a verse from the scriptures, a hymn, a talk that was given in conference, or a kind word from an inspired friend.
This is something that could be such a huge trial for me, but I feel peace and comfort.
"Fear is the absence of Faith." I'm trying to remember where I heard this, but it's one of those quotes that helps. I'm not afraid of what's to come. I'm not afraid of what's happening now. I have every belief that something will come of this; good or bad. All will be revealed in it's own time.
The reason that they can't find out a whole lot of stuff is because she's not floating. There's very little amiotic fluid, even a little less than before and so the transceivers have a hard time portraying her image. So I'll have weekly ultrasounds and will have twice weekly heart monitoring. She's sitting on my pelvic floor and it's painful depending on how she's laying.
I'm grateful for all of the prayers and support that I have recieved from all of my famiy and friends. I feel extremely blessed and uplifted by those around me.
Yesterday, Curt and I were talking and I told him that I am trying to keep it together but when am I allowed to fall apart? It then occured to me that everytime that I started to loose it just a little bit, things would come to my mind to remind me who I am and that I have Heavenly support: a verse from the scriptures, a hymn, a talk that was given in conference, or a kind word from an inspired friend.
This is something that could be such a huge trial for me, but I feel peace and comfort.
"Fear is the absence of Faith." I'm trying to remember where I heard this, but it's one of those quotes that helps. I'm not afraid of what's to come. I'm not afraid of what's happening now. I have every belief that something will come of this; good or bad. All will be revealed in it's own time.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
So Sad...
We were supposed to leave for the Porter Family Reunion tomorow morning.
Now, Aaron and Alyssa are going with my parents while we get to stay home and figure out what's going on with Jellybean. Is it wrong to be SO JEALOUS of my own kids?
I don't get to hang out in Greer... so sad. :( I haven't seen my brother Dave is SO long, I really miss him and his family. (Sorry, Dave) We get to hang out with Dan and his family today at a house they rented in Gilbert. I always look forward to just "hanging out" with my sibs when there's nothing else to do than to catch up.
Jellybean has fluid in her abdomen. They aren't whether she has a hole in her bladder or why the fluid is there. There's no way that its's coming out and so her amniotic fluid is low. They don't think it's related to the Spina Bifida, but at this point they aren't really sure.
On Thursday, I was admitted to OB/Triage at Banner Desert Hospital where they watched her, because she wasn't moving around very much. So they decided to do an ultrasound while she was there. That's when the fluid showed up.
So, the Dr sent me to Good Samaritan in Phoenix to be checked out by the Fetal Surgeons to see what they could do. They aren't sure if they will put a shunt in from her abdomen to the amnionic fluid or if they will put a stent in and open up her tube from her bladder, which might be obstructed, by the aren't for sure if that's the problem. They gave me the shots to mature her lungs just in case they decide that the only (and last) option is to bring her early. But they really don't want to do that.
The good news is that at 31 weeks, she already weighs in at a hefty 5 lbs. 7 ozs.
The ventricles in her brain are only mildly dialated.
Her neural sac (her back) isn't looking any worse!
Now, Aaron and Alyssa are going with my parents while we get to stay home and figure out what's going on with Jellybean. Is it wrong to be SO JEALOUS of my own kids?
I don't get to hang out in Greer... so sad. :( I haven't seen my brother Dave is SO long, I really miss him and his family. (Sorry, Dave) We get to hang out with Dan and his family today at a house they rented in Gilbert. I always look forward to just "hanging out" with my sibs when there's nothing else to do than to catch up.
Jellybean has fluid in her abdomen. They aren't whether she has a hole in her bladder or why the fluid is there. There's no way that its's coming out and so her amniotic fluid is low. They don't think it's related to the Spina Bifida, but at this point they aren't really sure.
On Thursday, I was admitted to OB/Triage at Banner Desert Hospital where they watched her, because she wasn't moving around very much. So they decided to do an ultrasound while she was there. That's when the fluid showed up.
So, the Dr sent me to Good Samaritan in Phoenix to be checked out by the Fetal Surgeons to see what they could do. They aren't sure if they will put a shunt in from her abdomen to the amnionic fluid or if they will put a stent in and open up her tube from her bladder, which might be obstructed, by the aren't for sure if that's the problem. They gave me the shots to mature her lungs just in case they decide that the only (and last) option is to bring her early. But they really don't want to do that.
I was just released with the promise that I would return on Monday, have yet another ultrasound and meeting with a few of the Fetal Surgeons and Perinatal Drs.
BUT (HOORAY!)
The good news is that at 31 weeks, she already weighs in at a hefty 5 lbs. 7 ozs.
The ventricles in her brain are only mildly dialated.
Her neural sac (her back) isn't looking any worse!
Friday, July 2, 2010
Just keep swimming...
I love the pool.
I love that floating, weightless feeling I have when I'm in the pool.
I even love that Jellybean loves the pool, because she starts kicking A LOT.
I just don't love getting out of the pool, because then she lands on my hip-bones and all the weight comes right back on.
I wish I could live in the pool... for the next 2 months.
I love that floating, weightless feeling I have when I'm in the pool.
I even love that Jellybean loves the pool, because she starts kicking A LOT.
I just don't love getting out of the pool, because then she lands on my hip-bones and all the weight comes right back on.
I wish I could live in the pool... for the next 2 months.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Finally, looking it!
I'm a big gal, I know it.
Finally I'm looking pregnant (not just large) and I am totally feeling it!
The Dr. said that we're looking at mid to late August, depending on Jellybean's size.
I can't wait!
Maybe I'll even post a picture soon.
Finally I'm looking pregnant (not just large) and I am totally feeling it!
The Dr. said that we're looking at mid to late August, depending on Jellybean's size.
I can't wait!
Maybe I'll even post a picture soon.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Not Father's Day... yet.
I don't know where all of this sickness has come from. Just a few weeks ago, I was telling my friend how healthy all of us are. Then... WHAM! We are down. Not all of us, Aaron and Curt are mostly fine.
I think I've had it the worst. Hayden had a fever a few days ago and a night of "Frowding ups". Last night, I quickly started heading downhill. I couldn't keep water and soda down. I learned quickly that I was done eating solid foods. I was up every other hour visiting my "Porcelain King" and paying homage to him. Alyssa visited him once in the night and that was it! She just has an oogy stomach today.
Curt was so nice about it and let me sleep (when I could) and he took care of the kids. He was starting to get concerned that he needed to get me to the hospital to prevent me from getting dehydrated. Thankfully, we had Ginger Ale in the fridge that had already been opened, carbonation just would make things worse and we were getting worried about Jellybean.
Around 7:30 this morning, he handed my phone to me and told me to call Judy Holden and have her play the organ for me. I don't remember the conversation, but I remember being grateful for the easy songs to be played in sacrament meeting. I don't remember much after that until around 9:30 when Aaron asked me if we were going to church. After a quick panic attack about the organ, Curt reminded me that we'd called Judy. (Thanks Judy, for saving me from trying to play and throw up at the same time.)
So, even though this is Father's Day, I feel like I'm getting the Mother's Day that I really wanted... I just wish I didn't have to be sick to get it.
(I'm starting to feel a little better... I may just be able to make Curt's Father's Day dinner of Steak and Crab Legs this year. YAY! No break in tradition!)
I think I've had it the worst. Hayden had a fever a few days ago and a night of "Frowding ups". Last night, I quickly started heading downhill. I couldn't keep water and soda down. I learned quickly that I was done eating solid foods. I was up every other hour visiting my "Porcelain King" and paying homage to him. Alyssa visited him once in the night and that was it! She just has an oogy stomach today.
Curt was so nice about it and let me sleep (when I could) and he took care of the kids. He was starting to get concerned that he needed to get me to the hospital to prevent me from getting dehydrated. Thankfully, we had Ginger Ale in the fridge that had already been opened, carbonation just would make things worse and we were getting worried about Jellybean.
Around 7:30 this morning, he handed my phone to me and told me to call Judy Holden and have her play the organ for me. I don't remember the conversation, but I remember being grateful for the easy songs to be played in sacrament meeting. I don't remember much after that until around 9:30 when Aaron asked me if we were going to church. After a quick panic attack about the organ, Curt reminded me that we'd called Judy. (Thanks Judy, for saving me from trying to play and throw up at the same time.)
So, even though this is Father's Day, I feel like I'm getting the Mother's Day that I really wanted... I just wish I didn't have to be sick to get it.
(I'm starting to feel a little better... I may just be able to make Curt's Father's Day dinner of Steak and Crab Legs this year. YAY! No break in tradition!)
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Mommy Melted
Hayden wasn't feeling very well last night and fell asleep on the couch around 5 pm..
He woke up at 8:30 and started crying. As usual, I started asking questions.
"Hey, buddy, do you want a drink?"
"No."
"Are you hungry?"
"No."
"Do you need to go potty?"
"No."
"What do you need?"
"You."
Awwww... you'll find me in a puddle by the couch.
He woke up at 8:30 and started crying. As usual, I started asking questions.
"Hey, buddy, do you want a drink?"
"No."
"Are you hungry?"
"No."
"Do you need to go potty?"
"No."
"What do you need?"
"You."
Awwww... you'll find me in a puddle by the couch.
Name Game
We have started the countdown! Okay... who am I kidding, we started that a long time ago. But, we are still trying to find a name for this little girl, other than Jellybean.
I have a poll on the left side. These are the names that we love the most~ for right now. There are no guarantees that she'll be named the winners' selection, but we'd like a little input... for my indecisive husband.
If you have any other suggestions (or comments on the names that are there), feel free to share. We just need to have a name for a blessing before she heads into surgery!
We are going for the middle name of Gwen. I love this name and it's Curt's Grandmother's name. You see, I figure since Jellybean is going to have some struggles, she needs a strong name and Curt's Grandmother lived for a few decades after her husband died and was a very faithful church member. I only got to meet her twice, since she died the summer after Curt and I were married. From what I hear, she was very determined, stubborn and independent. These are things that I admire in women. So, I'd like to carry the name forward!
I have a poll on the left side. These are the names that we love the most~ for right now. There are no guarantees that she'll be named the winners' selection, but we'd like a little input... for my indecisive husband.
If you have any other suggestions (or comments on the names that are there), feel free to share. We just need to have a name for a blessing before she heads into surgery!
We are going for the middle name of Gwen. I love this name and it's Curt's Grandmother's name. You see, I figure since Jellybean is going to have some struggles, she needs a strong name and Curt's Grandmother lived for a few decades after her husband died and was a very faithful church member. I only got to meet her twice, since she died the summer after Curt and I were married. From what I hear, she was very determined, stubborn and independent. These are things that I admire in women. So, I'd like to carry the name forward!
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Life - unchanged.
I was thinking about how much things are going to change with another little child in our home. BUT, then I remembered all the wonderful things that will always be the same!
* Aaron will still be the oldest and will always be my first baby. He's starting Junior High, but I know that his attitude will not change. He's a very "grounded" kid and he knows who loves him. He's always up for a new adventure and another little sister isn't going to knock him off his pedistal. He'll share it... gladly.
*Alyssa will always be the big sister. She's got the happiest "go-lucky" attitude that I've ever seen. I'm looking forward to her being a teenager. We have a contract that she signed when she was 5 that clearly states, "I will never hate my mom or dad. I will always love them and kiss them before I go to bed" (The rule in our home is that no one will ever be too big to kiss their mother in public)
* Hayden is awesome and is happy most of the time. If he's not, I can usually talk him out of it. He's the funniest 3 year old and I love that I'm the most important person to him. I love that he "hates girls". (Except, Heidi, Ellie, Bailey... and Shea.) He even hates me... or so he says until he realizes that he doesn't. He thinks he's one of the big kids and is almost as independent, but not as stubborn.
* Curt will always be here when I really need him the most. He's more freaked out about Jellyean than I am. I'm calm, he's concerned. He's also got the best BBC humor, but people don't see it often. When my Mom asked where he was going to be working, he told her APS. She wanted to know if it was APS the electrical people. He reply? "I don't know... it could stand for Arizona Popcorn Supply. I forgot to ask." He said it with such seriousness, that I had to wonder if he was kidding or not, then he smiled and walked away. If you haven't had a chance to see this side of him, you're missing out. It's one of the reasons I fell for him in the first place.
* I'm the only one that I'm worried about. I know and believe so many positive things will come out of Jellybean's life that I'm actually worried about losing myself in the process. My family is SO important to me and I do feel like I forget about my own wants and wishes in the process. I still would like to go back to school and get a Nursing/Medical Degree so that someday I can work for the Red Cross, but that just doesn't seem like something that will get done. But I'm grateful for all the medical classes that I have taken which are going to help me get through the next few years. I'll work me out eventually. Right now, girl's night out is providing me a "Mental Vacation" from everything.
My friend Stephanie Allred posted this on her blog page and I found it to be rather true.
* Aaron will still be the oldest and will always be my first baby. He's starting Junior High, but I know that his attitude will not change. He's a very "grounded" kid and he knows who loves him. He's always up for a new adventure and another little sister isn't going to knock him off his pedistal. He'll share it... gladly.
*Alyssa will always be the big sister. She's got the happiest "go-lucky" attitude that I've ever seen. I'm looking forward to her being a teenager. We have a contract that she signed when she was 5 that clearly states, "I will never hate my mom or dad. I will always love them and kiss them before I go to bed" (The rule in our home is that no one will ever be too big to kiss their mother in public)
* Hayden is awesome and is happy most of the time. If he's not, I can usually talk him out of it. He's the funniest 3 year old and I love that I'm the most important person to him. I love that he "hates girls". (Except, Heidi, Ellie, Bailey... and Shea.) He even hates me... or so he says until he realizes that he doesn't. He thinks he's one of the big kids and is almost as independent, but not as stubborn.
* Curt will always be here when I really need him the most. He's more freaked out about Jellyean than I am. I'm calm, he's concerned. He's also got the best BBC humor, but people don't see it often. When my Mom asked where he was going to be working, he told her APS. She wanted to know if it was APS the electrical people. He reply? "I don't know... it could stand for Arizona Popcorn Supply. I forgot to ask." He said it with such seriousness, that I had to wonder if he was kidding or not, then he smiled and walked away. If you haven't had a chance to see this side of him, you're missing out. It's one of the reasons I fell for him in the first place.
* I'm the only one that I'm worried about. I know and believe so many positive things will come out of Jellybean's life that I'm actually worried about losing myself in the process. My family is SO important to me and I do feel like I forget about my own wants and wishes in the process. I still would like to go back to school and get a Nursing/Medical Degree so that someday I can work for the Red Cross, but that just doesn't seem like something that will get done. But I'm grateful for all the medical classes that I have taken which are going to help me get through the next few years. I'll work me out eventually. Right now, girl's night out is providing me a "Mental Vacation" from everything.
My friend Stephanie Allred posted this on her blog page and I found it to be rather true.
"You know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change, but pretty soon...everything's different."
~Bill Watterson
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Come on Curt, help a girl out!!!
There are so many pictures I want to post! Curt switched me over to a new computer and I haven't quite figured out how to get my camera to link up. He's been so busy running from job interview to interview, working at one only to quit for a better one 2 weeks later, and dealing with my hormone spikes.
He's starting a contract job at APS on Monday. It's a great job and he already likes the people he'll be working with, he'll be able to ride the lightrail to and from the job! I GET MY VAN BACK!
On a side note, am I the only person who is 26 weeks pregnant who feels like I'm NOT big enough? I feel the same size as 3 months ago. I guess I'm just weird.
He's starting a contract job at APS on Monday. It's a great job and he already likes the people he'll be working with, he'll be able to ride the lightrail to and from the job! I GET MY VAN BACK!
On a side note, am I the only person who is 26 weeks pregnant who feels like I'm NOT big enough? I feel the same size as 3 months ago. I guess I'm just weird.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
About Jellybean.
We have another ultrasound scheduled for June 1st. But here is what we have been told so far.
Jellybean has Spina Bifida. Now, before you start feeling sorry for me, please don't... I don't. I'm doing great (now) with the news and am trying to prepare myself for what is coming. If you would like to know how things are going... just ask! I'll let you know if there's anything that's changed. If you just want to give me a hug, that's fine too! I'm pretty open about it, that's how I cope with it.
The only thing that's bugged me was when a friend started crying when I wasn't. That upset me and made me feel like I wasn't grieving enough for the life my child might not have. I felt like I was comforting her, it was odd and made me uncomfortable. So, please... don't do that.
I'm grateful that I am able to have this baby. Many of you are aware of the struggles that I have had with my hormones and my infertility trials. I believe that my body has been prepared for carrying her. I believe that the experiences that I have had with my other children has prepared me for this awesome spirit. I have always welcomed trials, I know that they make me a stronger, wiser person and a better mother.
I know that there are times coming where I will doubt and I have a great support system of friends and family that I can turn to and ask, "why me?". I know that a positive attitude will make a difference. I know that I already love this child and her spirit, it's something that will carry me through hard times. I'm grateful that I constantly have the priesthood at my disposal and I won't hesitate to take advantage of this wonderful blessing. I have great faith that the Lord will carry me when I can't find someone who can, I just need to ask! I know that Jellybean is preparing as much as we are for her birth. I know it will be hard.
I also believe in miracles, which is why I am praying for her health every second of everyday. I'm grateful for everyone who has fasted and/or prayed for her health. I'm grateful for the doctors who give me information and tell me to be patient because there are some things that no one will be able to prepare for until she's born.
I'm grateful for my kids, who when we told them that Jellybean's spine didn't form correctly, told us, "She's still our little sister and we'll love her no matter what. What can we do to help?" They are always curious about what the Drs. say; and we aren't afraid to tell them the truth. We would rather that they are prepared, than to have it come as a surprise. They still love to feel her kicking (which is a great sign) and are constantly talking to my belly. We found out a few days ago that the kids will be able to see her after she comes out of surgery and can be there to talk to her. That has made all of us very happy!
There are some great websites about Spina Bifida, so if you'd like to visit them, feel free. What she has is Myelomeningocele and it's a neural tube defect. It's the most serious form of Spina Bifida. There are some horrible websites also. I know that WebMD is pretty good, and there's a study for in-utero surgery that gives some good information.
We found out that this may be linked genetically to Curt and I. We aren't sure yet, they'll test her after she's born.
Like I said, some things may not be known until she's born, but we are preparing in whatever ways we feel inspired.
Jellybean has Spina Bifida. Now, before you start feeling sorry for me, please don't... I don't. I'm doing great (now) with the news and am trying to prepare myself for what is coming. If you would like to know how things are going... just ask! I'll let you know if there's anything that's changed. If you just want to give me a hug, that's fine too! I'm pretty open about it, that's how I cope with it.
The only thing that's bugged me was when a friend started crying when I wasn't. That upset me and made me feel like I wasn't grieving enough for the life my child might not have. I felt like I was comforting her, it was odd and made me uncomfortable. So, please... don't do that.
I'm grateful that I am able to have this baby. Many of you are aware of the struggles that I have had with my hormones and my infertility trials. I believe that my body has been prepared for carrying her. I believe that the experiences that I have had with my other children has prepared me for this awesome spirit. I have always welcomed trials, I know that they make me a stronger, wiser person and a better mother.
I know that there are times coming where I will doubt and I have a great support system of friends and family that I can turn to and ask, "why me?". I know that a positive attitude will make a difference. I know that I already love this child and her spirit, it's something that will carry me through hard times. I'm grateful that I constantly have the priesthood at my disposal and I won't hesitate to take advantage of this wonderful blessing. I have great faith that the Lord will carry me when I can't find someone who can, I just need to ask! I know that Jellybean is preparing as much as we are for her birth. I know it will be hard.
I also believe in miracles, which is why I am praying for her health every second of everyday. I'm grateful for everyone who has fasted and/or prayed for her health. I'm grateful for the doctors who give me information and tell me to be patient because there are some things that no one will be able to prepare for until she's born.
I'm grateful for my kids, who when we told them that Jellybean's spine didn't form correctly, told us, "She's still our little sister and we'll love her no matter what. What can we do to help?" They are always curious about what the Drs. say; and we aren't afraid to tell them the truth. We would rather that they are prepared, than to have it come as a surprise. They still love to feel her kicking (which is a great sign) and are constantly talking to my belly. We found out a few days ago that the kids will be able to see her after she comes out of surgery and can be there to talk to her. That has made all of us very happy!
There are some great websites about Spina Bifida, so if you'd like to visit them, feel free. What she has is Myelomeningocele and it's a neural tube defect. It's the most serious form of Spina Bifida. There are some horrible websites also. I know that WebMD is pretty good, and there's a study for in-utero surgery that gives some good information.
We found out that this may be linked genetically to Curt and I. We aren't sure yet, they'll test her after she's born.
Like I said, some things may not be known until she's born, but we are preparing in whatever ways we feel inspired.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Be Still, my soul.
I'm finding my mind full of hymns this week and have a certain recurring hymn flowing through my head and thankfully has made it's way to my heart.
I am in our ward choir. (Not really a surprise, is it?)
Anyway, the song that we are singing for May is "Be still, my soul."
(Thanks, Sis. Roehr.)
I love this song and I am finding great joy and comfort in this song.
"Be Still, my Soul: The Lord is on thy side;
With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In ev'ry change he faithful will remain.
Be Still, my Soul: Thy best, thy Heav'nly Friend
Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
Be Still, my Soul: Thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as he has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be Still, my Soul: The waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.
Be Still, my Soul: The hour is hast'ning on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be Still, my Soul: When change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last."
I am forever grateful for the inspired woman who wrote this song: Katharina von Schlegel. I would love to give her a huge hug right now!!!
I am in our ward choir. (Not really a surprise, is it?)
Anyway, the song that we are singing for May is "Be still, my soul."
(Thanks, Sis. Roehr.)
I love this song and I am finding great joy and comfort in this song.
"Be Still, my Soul: The Lord is on thy side;
With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In ev'ry change he faithful will remain.
Be Still, my Soul: Thy best, thy Heav'nly Friend
Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
Be Still, my Soul: Thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as he has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be Still, my Soul: The waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.
Be Still, my Soul: The hour is hast'ning on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be Still, my Soul: When change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last."
I am forever grateful for the inspired woman who wrote this song: Katharina von Schlegel. I would love to give her a huge hug right now!!!
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Jellybean...
The ultrasound tech said that she wasn't able so view a few things,
so she's sending me to a Level 2 Ultrasound.
I asked if we could see what she looks like 3D,
But we were told that she looks like a freaky skeleton.
Hayden quietly said, "Mom, Jellybean's a skeleton. That's so cool!"
Because I have lived with a headache for the last 2 months,
my Dr is sending me to a neurologist.
If it's not a sharp pain, it's a dull throb, but it's always there.
But I'm glad that so far, she's looking pretty cute.
(We saw her profile, she's got the Mellor lips!)
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Discipline or Slavery
Aaron needs to earn money for Geronimo.
He expects me to pay for it.
(I laughed so hard I hurt!)
He's telling me that it's my job to pay for it.
I told him that it's an extra thing that he'll have to pay for,
even though we feel it's important that he goes.
He told me that I'm selling him into slavery.
I tell him that we are showing him that if something is worth having,
it's worth working for; have some discipline.
Here's the difference:
vÉ™
–noun
1. the condition of a slave; bondage.
2. the keeping of slaves as a practice or institution.
3. a state of subjection like that of a slave: He was kept in slavery by drugs.
4. severe toil; drudgery.
pre·slav·er·y, adjective, noun
—Synonyms
1. thralldom, enthrallment. Slavery, bondage, servitude refer to involuntary subjection to another or others. Slavery emphasizes the idea of complete ownership and control by a master: to be sold into slavery. Bondage indicates a state of subjugation or captivity often involving burdensome and degrading labor: in bondage to a cruel master (ie: MOM). Servitude is compulsory service, often such as is required by a legal penalty: penal servitude. 4. moil, labor.
Here's MY Side:
dis·ci·pline
[dis-uh-plin]
Show IPA noun, verb,-plined, -plin·ing. –noun
1. training to act in accordance with rules; drill: military discipline.
2. activity, exercise, or a regimen that develops or improves a skill; training: A daily stint at the typewriter is excellent discipline for a writer.
3. punishment inflicted by way of correction and training.
4. the rigor or training effect of experience, adversity, etc.: the harsh discipline of poverty.
5. behavior in accord with rules of conduct; behavior and order maintained by training and control: good discipline in an army.
6. a set or system of rules and regulations.
7. Ecclesiastical. the system of government regulating the practice of a church as distinguished from its doctrine.
8. an instrument of punishment, esp. a whip or scourge, used in the practice of self-mortification or as an instrument of chastisement in certain religious communities.
9. a branch of instruction or learning: the disciplines of history and economics.
–verb (used with object)
10. to train by instruction and exercise; drill.
11. to bring to a state of order and obedience by training and control.
12. to punish or penalize in order to train and control; correct; chastise.
So... I'm selling him into slavery...
anyone want to buy him?
(at least for an hour or two?)
Friday, April 16, 2010
AMEN to Steph...
I have a wonderful friend... her name is Stephanie.
She just posted on her blog page something that I really needed today.
(Click on the above sentence to go to her post)
The last few days have been rough. I've been feeling like I have had to take control of my own life as well as Curt's. I'm finding a job, being a mother, housewife, secretary, COO, basically doing everything and still feel like I'm drowning.
I need to give something up... and fast.
It's not going to be motherhood.
Thanks Steph, for the reminder.
My headache feels a little better!
Monday, April 12, 2010
Quick update...
I just thought I'd take a minute to fill everyone in (I'll post more later).
Curt's still looking for a job, getting more of an education to put on his resume, but we've had some really good job leads and some interviews.
Curt and I took the kids on a roadtrip to Disneyland where we met up with my dear brother, Dan, and his family. I think it was the best trip to D-land that I've had in a very long time. It's always better when you spend the day with people you love.
Baby Jelly bean is doing very well and has started wiggling around. We had the ultrasound to determine the "flavor" and we're all pretty sure it's a girl.
Hayden's disappointed that Jellybean isn't a boy, Aaron's thrilled either way and Alyssa is the happiest girl in the world.
Other than the usual, having Curt at home as royally screwed up my schedule and I can't wait to ship him out to get a job. I need to get back to real life.
Curt's still looking for a job, getting more of an education to put on his resume, but we've had some really good job leads and some interviews.
Curt and I took the kids on a roadtrip to Disneyland where we met up with my dear brother, Dan, and his family. I think it was the best trip to D-land that I've had in a very long time. It's always better when you spend the day with people you love.
Baby Jelly bean is doing very well and has started wiggling around. We had the ultrasound to determine the "flavor" and we're all pretty sure it's a girl.
Hayden's disappointed that Jellybean isn't a boy, Aaron's thrilled either way and Alyssa is the happiest girl in the world.
Other than the usual, having Curt at home as royally screwed up my schedule and I can't wait to ship him out to get a job. I need to get back to real life.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Mwah-hahahaaaaaa!
I love planning things involving my kids and they have no idea what is going to happen.
I love to stand behind their bedroom doors and jump out and them. Scaring them is the BEST!!!!
I love the surprise of being a parent. You never know what's going to happen!
I love to stand behind their bedroom doors and jump out and them. Scaring them is the BEST!!!!
I love the surprise of being a parent. You never know what's going to happen!
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Gearing UP!
Okay, so anyone who knows me really, really well knows that I love to sew.
I love Conference Weekend, because that's my sewing weekend. I can listen to some of my favorite people tell me how to make my life better while making someone else's life happier.
This conference season, I'm hoping to get finished 3 diaper bags, 4 nursing covers, and a bunch of other little things.
Usually, my sewing weekend is for making things for other people, but I've decided that I'm going to make me a little happier too!!! I'll be making my own diaper bag!!!
This is what I really want: Vera Bradley Tote. Okay, so it's a little out of my league ($-wise), but I'm really going to try to come close to copy.
I'll let you know how it all turns out!
I love Conference Weekend, because that's my sewing weekend. I can listen to some of my favorite people tell me how to make my life better while making someone else's life happier.
This conference season, I'm hoping to get finished 3 diaper bags, 4 nursing covers, and a bunch of other little things.
Usually, my sewing weekend is for making things for other people, but I've decided that I'm going to make me a little happier too!!! I'll be making my own diaper bag!!!
This is what I really want: Vera Bradley Tote. Okay, so it's a little out of my league ($-wise), but I'm really going to try to come close to copy.
I'll let you know how it all turns out!
Monday, March 22, 2010
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly...
parts of pregnancy at 36.
I am grateful that I'm pregnant. I think most people are aware of my history. It's pretty extensive and I love that I am in the "special person section" of my OB/GYN's office. I have a 4 inch high folder of medical records for just this Dr. When they open the door to call me back, they just look at me and show me the folder, they know me and are so nice to me!
I love this!
The GOOD!
* as people age, sometimes we lose our beloved hair. This has been such a heartache for me over the last few years. Hormones have been a culprit. Now that the hormones are stable, I have hair growing back! Granted they are little stubbly things right now, but I'm hoping that they'll be around for a few more months.
* I have lost 2 pounds because of morning sickness. While this might be considered bad for some, it's great for me. My "hefty-ness" has always been something that needs some shrinking!
* I have older kids that are seeing exactly what I have to go through.
For Aaron, he's pretty aware of the "sickness" and is always asking what he can do. "Dear future Daughter-in-law: I am getting him ready to take care of you while you go through this." He wants a brother, but will take what he can get. He's such a great help to me and is so nice about getting things done that I really need him to do.
For Alyssa: She's also aware of nausea and the sensitivity to smells. She's been pretty great about making sure nothing around me smells bad. She's excited to have another sibling and to help.
* "The Chestal Area"
The BAD!
* Morning Sickness: as mentioned, it's pretty bad. I thought it was supposed to go away... supposed to.
* The clothes: I'm trying to wear stretchy things. I didn't think I'd be growing already, but I am.
* With Curt's job loss, I am constantly in a stressed out mode. I'm always dealing with headaches because of this worry.
* I'm old. 'nuf said.
The UGLY!
* Did you know that stretch marks can get stretch marks? Well they can. Hence... UGLY.
* All the wonderful short hairs make for some really great hairdos. I look like someone that's trying to pull off a mullet and a bob at the same time. It's a little scary.
* After the morning puke, when my face is really blotchy and my eyes are swollen. Oh. So. Not. Pretty.
I am grateful that I'm pregnant. I think most people are aware of my history. It's pretty extensive and I love that I am in the "special person section" of my OB/GYN's office. I have a 4 inch high folder of medical records for just this Dr. When they open the door to call me back, they just look at me and show me the folder, they know me and are so nice to me!
I love this!
Sunday, March 21, 2010
I'm sTalking to you!
Hi, my name is Shellee and I am a blogstalker.
I have found more people that I have lost track of through their blogs!
I have really tried to cut it down; BUT everytime I click on a friend's page, it seems they know someone that I have known in my lifetime before Curt and kids! They are people I knew at Franklin Elem. to the MCC Ward of 1992 - 1994.
I don't want to add them to my Blog list, because I think it would be creepy.
So, they are on my google reader.
It's kind of like Facebook in the way that when you run into them, you can talk to them about what's happening in their lives right now and they have NO IDEA how you know things about them!!!!
Will I stop? Probably not, but I thought you should know.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Making Lemonade
That's what I'm doing. Not literally, but we all know the saying, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade."
I have enjoyed spending time with Curtis, while he is kind-of searching for a job. We are still working on his resume and coverletter and applying for different jobs.
Today, we went to the Children's Museum of Phoenix. He's always been a little ticked that when we were going to play, he was working. He could have taken days off, but he decided to be totally dedicated to his job. (Yeah, that was time well spent. Sarcasm is a wonderful thing.)
We had a blast and even ran into our good friends, Liz and Michael. Unfortunately, we forgot the camera. But, we had a great time in the Noodle Forest and teaching Dad how to play; afterall, he hasn't played in such a long time.
I have enjoyed spending time with Curtis, while he is kind-of searching for a job. We are still working on his resume and coverletter and applying for different jobs.
Today, we went to the Children's Museum of Phoenix. He's always been a little ticked that when we were going to play, he was working. He could have taken days off, but he decided to be totally dedicated to his job. (Yeah, that was time well spent. Sarcasm is a wonderful thing.)
We had a blast and even ran into our good friends, Liz and Michael. Unfortunately, we forgot the camera. But, we had a great time in the Noodle Forest and teaching Dad how to play; afterall, he hasn't played in such a long time.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Grandpa and Grandpa
No, my family has not gone "alternative lifestyle".
My dear little Hayden has an issue. We have been trying to get him sorted out.
Whenever Hayden wants to go to my parent's home, he asks to go to "Grandpa and Grandpa's house". Today while we were going to pick some oranges, this is the following conversation.
Hayden: Are we going to Grandpa and Grandpa's?
Me: No, we are going to GrandMa and Grandpa's. Hayden, say GrandMa.
Hayden: GrandMa
M: Now say GrandMa and Grandpa's
H: Grandpa and Grandpa.
M: No, GrandMA and Grandpa.
H: Grandpa and Grandpa.
M: Say, 'We are going to GrandMa's house.'
H: We are going to GrandMa's house.
M: Now, 'We are going to Grandpa's house.'
H: We are going to Grandpa's house.
M: Say, 'We are going to GrandMA and Grandpa's house.'
H: okay, we are going to Grandpa and Grandpa's house.
M: No... Say it again. Where are we going?
H: I DON'T KNOW!
What do you say to the poor kid? All we could do was laugh. Poor kid... so confused
My dear little Hayden has an issue. We have been trying to get him sorted out.
Whenever Hayden wants to go to my parent's home, he asks to go to "Grandpa and Grandpa's house". Today while we were going to pick some oranges, this is the following conversation.
Hayden: Are we going to Grandpa and Grandpa's?
Me: No, we are going to GrandMa and Grandpa's. Hayden, say GrandMa.
Hayden: GrandMa
M: Now say GrandMa and Grandpa's
H: Grandpa and Grandpa.
M: No, GrandMA and Grandpa.
H: Grandpa and Grandpa.
M: Say, 'We are going to GrandMa's house.'
H: We are going to GrandMa's house.
M: Now, 'We are going to Grandpa's house.'
H: We are going to Grandpa's house.
M: Say, 'We are going to GrandMA and Grandpa's house.'
H: okay, we are going to Grandpa and Grandpa's house.
M: No... Say it again. Where are we going?
H: I DON'T KNOW!
What do you say to the poor kid? All we could do was laugh. Poor kid... so confused
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